What NOT Lesbian Film am I?

These famous though not remotely “lesbian” movies have been renamed to reflect their true character, can you name the films original titles??

Straightbian Hearts

Straightbians who happen in Vegas, role play in Vegas!

queerest colour

More Blue Movie than Lesbian reality!

kissing

Bored Straight Women tired of men-the Hetsplained “Lesbian” cliche!

Hells Straightbians

Teenage Het girl crushes bordering on the Borderline-hmm and why exactly was/is this listed as Lesbian?

Chasing Straightbian

Hyper sexual Het Woman pretends to be a Lesbian, pretending to be a dick virgin for dick, pretending to be a Lesbian again till the next dick CUMS around.

Bound

A STRAIGHTBIAN cons a Dyke to do her dirty work for her! No way! A Het Woman who needs a man or Lesbian to do all the action? Wha?

alright

The Straightbian train-Straight to the next dick! All aboard!

basic

Borderline STRAIGHTBIAN with a penchant for cock-oh the shock!

 

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The Top Ten BEST Lesbian Films to see at Valentine’s Day NEVER Made

1). There’s Something GAY About Mary:  A cute coming of age meets coming out story!

2). When Terry Bet Callie: It began with a bet and ended in Les Romantique!

3). Tired in Tampa: Was it the Heat or her Lesbian Heart keeping her awake at night?!

4). Four Gay Weddings and a Lesbian: Will a Lesbian caterer meet her Mrs Right on the job?!

5). Two First Dates: Is the old Lesbian Adage really true?!

6). The 40 Year Old Lesbian: Too young to be put out to pasture but too old for the bar scene. Where can a single mature Lesbian meet a mate? You’ll be surprised! We were!

7). My Big Bad Bulldyke Wedding: She could fix a truck, but can she say “I do”???!!!

8). The Lesbian Wedding Singer: Will she sing at her own wedding? Only if she meets the right dyke!

9). Pretty Comfortable in Birkenstocks: If the shoe fits…!!!

10). Under a Tuscan Tongue: Lesbians gives the term tongue tied a whole new meaning!

dirt

 

 

The Top 25 Lesbian Classic Books

1)  Gone with the Lesbians: A Novel Which Captured Southern Lesbian Heat! Oh, My!

gone

2) Dangerous Lesbiaisons: The Title Says It All!

3) To the Lezzhouse: What Happens In The Lezzhouse, Stays In The Lezzhouse!

4) Anne of Gay Stables: The Horses Had Never Seen Anything Like It!?!?!

5) The Adventures of Tomboy Sawyer: She Never Met A Softball She Didn’t Like!

tomboysawyer

6) LezbolitaYou Better Wait Until She’s Not Jailbait!

7) Les Lesbiennes: Ooh La La, Mon Chéri!!!

8) Tender is the Dyke: Stick A Fork In Her…She’s Done!

9) From Here To Sapphistry: All Aboard The Lesbian Pleasure Cruise!

10) One Flew Over MichfestShe Joined The Mile-High Club!

michfest

11) The Old Dyke and the Sea: She May Be Salty, But She’s Still Lesbolicious!

12) Lesbians in Love: Or Is It Just Lust?

13) Dykes of the Round Table: Because A Square Table Just Won’t Do!

14) Little Dykes: What They Lack In Size, They More Than Make Up For In Dykatude!

15) The Lavender Letter: She Wore It Proudly, But Where?

lavenderletter

16) A Passage to Lesbia: A One-Way Trip To The Stars!

17) Portrait of a Lesbian as a Young Artist: She Took Finger-Painting To A W/HOLE New Level!

18) Waiting for Lesbot: You May Be Waiting For Eternity, But What The Heck?

19) Dykenstein: Yikes!

20) Wuthering Dykes: The Winds Of Passion Blow Hard!

wutheringdykes

21) The Sapphobury Tales: A Story That Will Satisfy The Taste Of The Most Finicky Dyke!

22) Alice in Lezzerland: Getting Lost Was Never So Much FUN!

23) Pippi Longfingers: Gives New Meaning To The Term “Well-Hung”!

24) The Catcher in the Outfield: Softballs Weren’t The ONLY Thing She Was Catching!

25) The Sapphist Also Rises: You Can’t Keep A Good Lezzie Down! (Unless She WANTS To Go Down!)

sun-also

dirt and Mrs. Dirt

Black Mirror’s San Junipero: A Happily-Ever-After Lesbian Love Story…???

Saye Bennett

!!SPOILER ALERT!!

The 4th episode of the 3rd series of Black Mirror, “San Junipero” (and if you’re unfamiliar with Black Mirror, think Twilight Zone meets the technological age) has been much-ballyhooed as a triumph over the tired, homophobic “Bury Your Gays” trope.

And, in many ways, it indeed seems to be a happy ending. After all, the 2 lead female characters (Warning: Second, and final, spoiler alert!!) ~ after back-and-forth drama ~ do end up in virtual-reality eternity together, complete with a happy end-scene montage to the tune of Belinda Carlisle’s “Heaven is a Place on Earth”.

But…

There seems to always be a “but” when it comes to how Lesbian love is portrayed, and this particular portrayal has a big “but”:

Only one character (Yorkie) is a Lesbian; therefore, the relationship could never be mutual, happy, or true love. (And: Yorkie is a Lesbian whose family would not…

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“It’s Nothing Personal, It’s Just Business”

NOTE: My partner, spouse, and all-around sweetiepie, Dirt, wrote this today & it is originally posted here on her blog. I agree 2,987,674,342+++ percent…: I had worked for Corporate America for 20 years. Throughout these two decades I witnessed from time to time (time to time being whenever 3rd quarter rolled around and it was […]

via “It’s Nothing Personal, It’s Just Business”(Written By Dirt) — Saye Bennett